An Ode to MarySue
by Rhino7
Summary: A satire paying homage to the most special character ever made, who is special and majestic in all her specialness. MarySue-ness obviously and much OOCness.


**An Ode to Mary-Sue**

**By Rhino7**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. This little bit of nonsense is mine. This idea came to me the other day out of the blue, and I decided it was time to write a little dedication to the thorn that stabs the side of all readers. This one-shot should not be taken seriously at all. It's full of blatant OOC-ness, stupidity, and rather crappy writing. Enjoy this nutshell version of every Mary-Sue story. **

**..:--X--:..**

It was a crystal clear, sunny day for Radiant Garden. Not a cloud in the sky nor a frown on any face, not even Leon's. Why, do you ask, was he smiling? The war against the Heartless had been getting worse and the Restoration Committee could only protect the town against so many. But he had just received amazing news. They were receiving a new recruit today. A fresh warrior who had trained with Yensid in the ways of magic and was the top of her class in her martial arts training. But she came with a dark past. She was not only powerful, strong, and beautiful, but lethal, dangerous, and mysterious. Leon was not normally one to trust another with such a dark past, but for some reason, he trusted her completely.

"Send her in." He ordered.

The door across from his office desk opened slowly and the new recruit entered. A black cloak hid her face, but she moved across the room with a grace and elegance not to be surpassed by any that came before her. At her hip was sheathed a long handled katana, and the cloak accentuated her slim, perfect figure. A hush seemed to fall in the room, like all other noise was muted.

"You called for me, sir?" Her voice was like lavender, caressing to the ears and cool like silk.

It took Leon a moment to catch is breath, "There's trouble at the Great Maw. We've sent Sora and Riku, but they can't handle it. Your orders are to go and help them."

The new recruit bowed her cloaked head towards him, "It will be done sir."

She swept out of the room, leaving only the soft perfume of lilacs behind her.

**..:--X--:..**

Sora blocked another attacking Heartless, parrying its claws with the Keyblade and flinging it away from him. It seemed as though he would defeat one Heartless, and five would take its place. A few yards away, Riku was having the same problem. There were just too many. Sora had defeated a thousand Heartless here just a few months before, and Riku had been battling Heartless for over a year, but with their strengths combined, somehow the Heartless were overpowering them.

"It's no use." Riku snapped, slicing three Heartless in half with one swing. "There're just too many for us to handle."

Sora threw a series of Fire spells at a cluster of Heartless. "We can't just give up!"

Their movements were growing slower as the fight progressed. Their arms were getting heavier, unable to swing the Keyblades as fast as they normally would. With the sun high overhead and beating down on them, Sora and Riku were losing ground and fast.

Sora froze a dozen Heartless around him with a Stop spell, taking the opportunity to catch his breath. His arms felt full of lead and his knees were barely holding him up. Riku lifted a Dark Aura to block another onslaught of Heartless, but the shield quickly fizzled out and died, leaving him vulnerable. The Heartless charged forward, knocking both boys down and burying them in a mass of darkness. The Keyblades diminished and Sora had the wind knocked out of him.

So this was it. The end. After fighting for so long, after overcoming so many obstacles, after defeating Xehanort's Heartless, Organization XIII, and Xemnas, they were still no match for a canyon full of Heartless. Sora's resolve and determination crumbled and he began to feel the darkness licking at his heart, trying to drag him under. The darkness was closing in on all sides, swallowing all the light in the world it seemed, when suddenly...

The Heartless began to move, shift, and retreat. What was this? The Heartless had Sora and Riku right where they wanted them, helpless, unarmed, and immobile. There was no doubt though, the Heartless were moving back...or were being beaten back, by a very powerful being.

Suddenly finding themselves free of the Heartless, Sora and Riku quickly got to their feet, looking around for the source of their salvation.

A black cloaked figure was completely surrounded by Heartless just a few yards away from Sora and Riku. A long handled katana glinted in the figure's pale hands as it was twirled around, wreaking havoc and fury on the Heartless.

"Who is that?" Riku asked.

"I don't know." Sora answered, slack jawed.

The cloaked figure leapt back, lifted the katana, and shouted, "Amorus engorgus!"

Immediately, upon the shouting of the incantation that no one had ever heard before, the katana lengthened and thickened, the blade enveloped in a shimmering light as the weapon became a much larger, thicker sword. As soon as this happened, a fierce wind formed a cyclone of light around the figure, outlining the long, black wings that erupted from the figure's back. Sora and Riku were mesmerized.

With this fresh round of power, the figure lashed out at the Heartless, slicing through them as though they were standing still. The mastery of the sword was astounding, and with just a flick of the wrist, the figure sent out massive spells, taking out dozens of Heartless in one blow.

When there were only a few dozen Heartless left, the figure pushed off from the ground, soaring high into the air on angel wings. The figure swung the massive sword around several times, forming a powerful wind as the sword began to glow again.

"Undertaker!" The figure dramatically announced the final attack.

A rain of fire and lightning and ice and water and wind was blasted away from the figure, falling in a rain of death to the scattering Heartless below. Sora and Riku watched in awe as the attack demolished all remaining Heartless in the Great Maw.

As the final ashes of the Heartless melted and burned away, the two Keybearers looked up. The figure beat wings once, slowly descending from the sky like the Deliverer, until the figure's boots lighted effortlessly on the Great Maw's surface. Now that the battle was won, Sora and Riku could tell that their rescuer was a woman, with a slender muscled body. She wore black boots, black leather pants, and a black blouse under the black cloak she wore that whipped in the wind and shielded her face from their eyes.

"Um...Thank you for saving us." Riku stammered, uncharacteristically shy around this strange person.

Sora just made incoherent noises and sputtered like an idiot.

The figure lifted her head slowly to them, allowing the gentle breeze to push her hood away from her face, back to her shoulders. Her eyes glistened like the full moon, a deep, endless, enigmatic blue, with gold circling the edge of her irises. Her skin was flawless and pale like moonlight, reflecting the warm sun overhead. Her hair, free from her hood, fell to her waist in a cascade of black with red tips on the end. Her mouth was a flat line, unsmiling but not unfriendly. It felt as though her eyes were reading Sora's soul and he fought the urge to run over and hug her, so strongly was he drawn to her.

"Your welcome. I was just following orders." Her voice danced across Sora's skin, sending a pleasant sensation all through his body.

"We've never met before. I'm Riku, that's Sora. Sora, stop drooling." Riku grunted.

Sora wiped at his mouth absently, unable to tear his eyes away from the beautiful woman in front of him.

The woman's elegant black wings hung delicately from the sockets in her back, swishing silently in the breeze. "It's nice to meet you. My name is Isabella Vanessa Shankeesha Miraha. My name means The Silent Bringer of Peace and Destruction in my native language of Hirkahesh."

Neither Sora nor Riku had ever heard of such a language, but didn't feel the need to question it.

"That's a long name. Do you have a nickname?" Sora stuttered.

"Just call me Isabella." She smiled softly, revealing rows of perfectly aligned, shining white teeth that reflected the sunlight and nearly blinded the boys.

"So, uh, Isabella, where are you from?" Riku asked.

A flash of something flickered behind Isabella's eyes, "I am afraid that if I tell you where I am from and my past, you will shun me and hate me."

"N-never. We--I--could never do that. Ever." Sora shook his head.

Isabella looked to the distant clouds, "Fine, I will tell you my dark past. My mother died giving birth to me and I never met my father. Even as just a toddler, I displayed an advanced knowledge and grasp of magic and martial arts and swordsmanship. My caretakers, an elderly couple who had never had children of their own, spent all of their savings to send me to Yensid. I was apprenticed to him for three years, mastering all forms of magic in mere days, while it had taken Yensid himself years to learn them. Once I had mastered all magic, I returned to my homeland. The welcoming I received was far from a welcome at all. Bandits had attacked my homeland, stealing and robbing all of my friends and neighbors of all that they owned and held dear. My guardians were viciously slain and I was never able to tell them how much I loved them."

Isabella's eyes misted and became moist, but she swallowed and continued. "I was overpowered by revenge. I sought the most powerful swordsman who had ever lived and convinced him to train me in his ways. I soon mastered the martial arts and all sword-handling, confirming my mastery by defeating the swordsman in battle. From that victory I inherited this sword." She held up the katana, which had shrunken and resumed its normal shape. "It's called Moonlight Star Fire Calamity, and it is the most powerful sword ever wielded, even more powerful than the Keyblade."

Sora and Riku gulped, hoping to never have to face Isabella in battle. She went on in her story.

"Now with all of my skills, I tracked down the bandits who had pillaged and destroyed my home and I killed them all in cold blood." Isabella turned her face away slightly, ashamed of her deeds. Composing herself, she continued, "Shortly after, I had a dream, a dream more real than this canyon is now. In my dream, I saw my mother. She told me she was proud of me and loved me and that she hadn't actually died giving birth to me. She had been murdered by my father, who could not stand to see that I would someday become more powerful than he will ever be. That is why I joined this war and came to Radiant Garden. My destiny is to find my father and defeat him in battle, avenging my mother and proving true his fears."

Sora was moved by the story and for an inexplicable reason wanted to put his arms around Isabella, hold her close and comfort her.

Riku tilted his head, "Who is your father? Maybe we could help you find him."

Thunder rumbled over head. The sun was no longer shining and clouds were gathering overhead, threatening a storm.

Isabella looked up at the sky, anger flashing in her eyes, changing the irises from blue to red. "His name," She hissed, as though speaking the very name was painful enough, "is Sephiroth."

Dun, dun, DUN!!

Riku gasped and stiffened. Sora shifted, "That's it?"

Isabella looked at him sharply, "What's it?"

"You thought we would hate you just because you killed countless people and now want to kill your father? That's no big deal." Sora shrugged.

Isabella blinked, "Are you sure?"

Sora nodded, "Of course. In fact, I--I think I'm falling in love with you."

Isabella straightened, "What? You've only known me for an hour."

Sora took a step towards her, "I know, it's crazy, but it's true. I've never felt this way about anyone before, and I just know, deep in my soul, that we're supposed to be together until the end of time."

Isabella's face relaxed from the normally stern face, "I think I feel the same way about you, Sora."

Sora began to move closer, smelling the lilac perfume on her skin.

Riku grabbed Sora's arm, "Now hold on, just a second here!"

Sora jerked, "What?"

Riku scowled, "I'm falling in love with her! You've got Kairi already. I have no one! Isabella, I'm in love with you! I could make you so much happier than Sora ever could!"

Sora blinked, "Kairi? Who's this Kairi you speak of? Oh!" He had completely forgotten his girlfriend in Isabella's angelic presence.

Isabella lifted her hands, "Please don't fight over me."

Riku and Sora had already drawn their Keyblades. Best friends waging war on each other all over again for the love of one woman. Riku attacked first, charging at Sora with Way to the Dawn. Sora held out Oblivion, blocking Riku's attack and sending another blow of his own at his suddenly former friend.

And then Leon was running towards them, Gunblade in hand. "I was just sitting at my desk, thinking about you, Isabella, when I realized that I am in love with you too!" That being said, he joined into Sora and Riku's battle.

For all her powers and strength, Isabella could only stand and watch in horror as the three men fought for her love. "Stop, please! Please, don't hurt each other on my account!" She yelled, running around and trying to pull them apart.

Riku kicked Sora back and away. Sora hit the ground and rolled several times, getting up. Riku turned in time to block Leon's Gunblade, but the force behind Leon's attack knocked Riku down. Sora scrambled to his feet and summoned the Keyblade again, going in for the attack. At the same time, Isabella leapt into the battle in a desperate attempt to stop the battle.

It happened in slow motion, Leon blocked Sora's attack and pushed the blade aside. Sora was forced to derail his attack to the side as the Keyblade was deflected. Isabella entered the fray, holding out her arms for them to stop. Sora could not slow his momentum. The Keyblade stabbed Isabella in the chest, dropping her like a stone.

Sora, Riku, and Leon immediately stopped fighting, horrorstruck at what had just happened.

"Isabella!"

"No!"

"Hold on, Isabella!"

The three congregated around her, and Sora pulled her wounded and bleeding body into his arms. Blood was blossoming freely from the wound in her chest and a small trickle fell from her lips. Her eyes, blue like crystal, focused on Sora's face.

"Sora?" Her voice was weak and trembling.

"Isabella, I'm so sorry. Please hold on. I can't live without you!" Sora cried, tears falling down his cheeks.

Leon stood up, "I'll go for help!" He took off across the Great Maw.

Riku knelt down beside Sora, holding Isabella's hand.

"It's too late for help. I'm not going to make it." Isabella murmured, her form growing weaker and limper in Sora's hands.

Sora held her closer, "I won't let you die."

Isabella smiled through the pain, "I will never truly die, my love. Since I was stabbed with the Keyblade, my heart will return to Kingdom Hearts, where you can find me again."

"I will, I promise I will bring you back." Sora sobbed.

Riku nodded, "We both will. And then you will be able to avenge your mother by defeating Sephiroth. We promise on our lives, Isabella."

Isabella smiled softly, her eyes closing for the final time. Her last breath escaped her and she died peacefully in Sora's arms.

"Isabella? Isa-Isabella? ISABELLA! NOOOOOOO!!" Sora cried out in anguish.

Her body began to glow and fade under the cloudy sky, until all that remained of her were a few feathers from her wings. Sora and Riku both lifted a feather each, holding them close and vowing to find a way to bring Isabella back.

Riku stood up first, drying his eyes, "Well, that's it then. We go back to Kingdom Hearts and save her."

Sora stood up too, "Right, and once we have saved her, we'll let her decide who she loves most. I made her a promise," He clenched a fist, "and I always keep my promises."

**..:--X--:..**

Kairi checked her watch again. Darkness had fallen on Destiny Islands, and it now close to ten o'clock at night. Sora was supposed to have picked her up for their date at eight o'clock.

Across the couch from her, Rinoa Heartilly sat admiring her new engagement ring. "Leon just proposed last week! I'm so excited! I wonder why he hasn't called me yet tonight?"

**..:--X--:..**

Meanwhile, in the mountains of Northern Radiant Garden, Sephiroth waited.

"Soon," He whispered to the night, "Soon, there will be no doubt that my daughter will never be more powerful than I am. I'm waiting for you, Isabella."

Fin.

**A/N: Wow, you actually read it to the end? You get cake for that. My apologies for the crappy quality, but there's no good way for me to write something this ridiculous in my usual style. I'm thinking of writing an equally absurd sequel. I'll take any ideas you guys offer!**

**Remember, padawans, perfection is boring. Flaws are fantastic.**


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